I am no longer the same person that I was when I first started this blog.
When I first started blogging, I mostly wanted to write about my travels. A place to jot down my memories so that I don’t forget, but as time went on, I experienced several major life changes. Heartaches, loss of identity, and going against my parent’s wishes to move across the country alone– they flipped my world upside down. They brought me so much fear and anxiety that I didn’t even know what to do with them.
The best coping mechanisms I found were reading and writing.
Reading became my therapy, and writing became my medicine. I found myself constantly scribbling everywhere. In my journal, in my work books, on random pieces of paper, on this blog, and on whatever I could find. Words just kept pouring out of me. A lot of times they would keep me up at night, and they came as frequently and randomly as they went.
I felt as if I was having word convulsions, and the only relief was to put them down somewhere.
I discovered that I had a love for writing that I didn’t know I had. Through my own experiences, I became fascinated with the subjects of fear, loss, and pain. Then I realized one day, that me being able to take my pain and turn it into words was a sign of strength. I was overcoming one of my biggest fears: change.
Traveling is and always will be a very crucial component of my life, and the more I travel the more I’m beginning to understand how change and loss is a big part of it. When you travel, you literally lose a bit of yourself, because when you see so much, you have to make room for something new. You have to let go of who you normally are, your routines, your expectations, and all your concepts of “normal.” There is no “normal” when you are traveling. That is the quickest way to disappointment. Instead, you have to learn to embrace the changes and differences. You have to adapt. This is by far the biggest lesson I have learned from all my travels.
Today is my last full day here in the Bay Area. I am very sad to go, but in order to continue to reach my goals I have to go back home to take care of some personal things. This doesn’t mean that my travels will end here. No, far from it. I am going home so I can reground and get stronger so that I can continue my dream of traveling the world. New York City may be my home, but it is not the only one. Home is and forever will be on the road for me, and I am very excited for all the changes that are about to come my way.