It’s exhilarating. It’s empowering. It’s liberating.
But it comes at a cost.
I don’t know how and I don’t know why, but for as long as I can remember I’ve always wanted to live somewhere new all by myself. Part of it, I think, comes from me wanting to prove to myself that I can do it, and the other part comes from my disposition for independence.
Some people may misinterpret this as me not loving my family and friends enough, but this is simply not true. I love my family and friends back at home, and everyday I feel guilty for being so far away. Oh, there’s goes that baby shower I missed, and that birthday party, and that wedding… and the list goes on. You’re perpetually missing out, and you can never quite get use to it, but you do come into terms with it.
I realized that when I left I would be missing out on a ton of stuff, but I also trusted my family and friends to understand that this was nothing personal. I had a dream and I chased after it. I would wish the same thing for all my friends.
Do I get lonely?
Yes, but I also did when I was at home. Living on my own has actually taught me that loneliness is not about who you’re with, it’s a feeling. You can feel lonely in a crowd of people. I’m sure most of us have experienced this. The same thing can be said for “home.” Home is not a place, it’s a feeling. I’ve found that with the right mindset, the right friends, the right attitude, I can feel at home almost anywhere and anytime.
I’m not sure if I’ll stay where I am forever, and someday I would like to settle down in one place, but all I know now is that the world is too big to stay put.