In less than a month, I’ll be moving all the way across the country by myself to California. And yes, I’m scared.
One of the most common reactions I get when I tell people that I am moving is, “Wow you’re so brave!” And while I’m flattered, I really want to make it clear that I am not unafraid. In fact I only just had a mini meltdown a few days ago when I started thinking about all the things that can go wrong.
I can end up in a really crappy apartment with a psycho roommate. I can end up hating where I work. I can end up super lonely because I can’t relate to anyone. I mean, who knows right? Any of these things can happen. Then I started to doubt whether I’m making the right decision at all. Here I am living comfortably at home, paying no rent, being fed everyday, surrounded by friends and family that love me, and I’m about to just give it all up so I can go live by myself thousands of miles way with no friends or family? What is wrong with me? Anyone with common sense would be able to see that it is not the smartest choice.
Yet here I am with my heart begging me to move and to find out what’s out there. I simply cannot shake the feeling of wanting more and experiencing something new. I love the sense of freedom that comes from being on my own, exploring new places, and going on new adventures. Even new challenges, as daunting as it may be, seem attractive to me because I know that at the end I will learn and grow a lot.
I don’t know if this move will bring me more happiness, but I’m sure that it’ll bring me growth. Maybe it’ll teach me a lesson about how wrong I am. But the only way I would find out is by doing it. As many chances as there are for things to go wrong, there are just as many chances for things to go right, and I’m willing to take the chance to find out.